Wednesday, October 14, 2015

October 14, 2015, update, Episode 2 conclusion

My best recollection, is that this began in December 2014 and today, Oct 14, 2015, approximately 11 months later, I feel good. NO pain. Fear from habit of lack of movement this year, but NO pain, no hip, no butte bite, no burning, no top of foot. I feel fine, but I'm fearful of movement, my mind still remembers pain. But the change has been nothing short of a miracle. Everyday, I feared it, moving, waking up, needing to walk, for even a short distance. The pain. What happened?
Something strange has happened. As I've written, this year, well actually beginning December 14, it came back with a vengeance. Teaching in February/March this year, Spring 2015, were absolutely brutal. Difficulty walking and standing. Dreaded walking to the car, the car to the building, my desk to a student's desk. Around March, I also developed a severe cough that further exacerbated the back/hip pain. I went to a dr. in March to get the cough under control, then once better was going to go back to see a back dr. It would feel a little better, then a little worse. Lying down felt great, but then getting up afterwards was torture. When standing I had a noticeable bend to the right. I took a picture on September 7th, 2015, during another painful episode. Finally, I think it was that Day, Sept 7th, I'd had enough, I mentally broke. To that time, I was trying to let the body heal, to write, to breathe, but seemingly to no avail. I'd had enough, the pain was affecting everything, I couldn't stand straight, I couldn't stand long, I couldn't walk long. I'd try to take walks, the goal was to see how few times I could stop and stretch out the back. It was my butte, or then my right hip, or then the burning down the calf, and the big toe twitching at night. I'd just had enough. That following monday, I scheduled an appointment with Dr. Weiner at Methodist, for Oct 6, 2015...a tuesday. Then something weird happened.

One great thing about this episode of back pain has been a development of a daily 30 minute meditation practice, right foot propped up over the left thigh. In the beginning of the year through today, it helps to take the edge of in the morning. At first the pain was severe waking up and trying to walk, then the last few weeks it's been much better upon waking, less severe pain when I first stand/walk to pee. After the 30 minutes, I feel good, ready. So the last few days especially, have been feeling better, less stiff, able to get to non pain quickly. I had a 20th year reunion on Oct 2-3 up in Austin. Even there, in the morning back/leg/hip were stiff and I was tentative/afraid of walking or standing too long/far. So, the weekend before the appointment, still pain, less, but very definitely there. That following tuesday, 10/6, at the appointment, they checked my reflexes, toe strength, asked questions, tested my fingers (?), lifted my legs....nothing. I felt almost stupid for being there. Where was the pain? It was a resident who checked me, the doctor later walked in and we spoke briefly. After hearing the assessment from the resident, and then speaking to me, the doctor told me "he was not concerned", rather, there was nothing to worry about. I had told him my fear of tumor or cancer or some growth, but he adroitly countered the reality of that, the pain, which I told him had been getting less, would in fact be getting worse, IF tumor or cancer was the case. That brought about great relief, the Dr. wasn't worried! (so there was NO need for me to be either!!) He asked what I was looking for and I said MRI to see if there was any obvious obstructions, and so he schedule one and a visit back on oct 13th, one week later.

Following that visit, the pain has been less and less. Feeling no pain, I have been trying to walk/move as much as I can. I overslept tai chi saturday morning, but taught that afternoon. Back felt great! No needing to sit or stretch or lie down!! I felt great! Sunday, after tai chi with Les, I went for a walk along the Bayou. 4-6:20 or so, 2:20 and guess what? NO pain, no sitting to relieve the pain, no burning, no biting, no "sensations"...nothing! Monday, i walked again for 30 min. Tuesday, went in for the MRI. I hate insurance. Day of the MRI, they call me to tell me of cheaper places to get an MRI, I'm about to have an appointment later that day, and they call me the day of. I wanted to be so angry, but amazingly, it's not holding, I'm just going with it. So, I go in for the 3rd MRI in my lifetime. What did they find? Dr. Weiner greeted me from the waiting room and asked how I was, I told him I was feeling remarkably good. He said that was miraculous...considering the MRI. The MRI showed a sever herniation in L5, but oddly, ironically, I was feeling better than ever and was in no pain. That day I was even tempted to cancel the appointment because I was feeling so good, but thought instead, "no, let's do this and see what's there, or not." So, I guess I'm one of the lucky ones, shows herniation, but no pain or sensation! The side view was familiar, but when he showed me the other section, I could see why he was amazed. In the cross section without herniation, there is a clear space for the spinal canal, where the nerve fibers run up and down. On mine, it was very small, the herniation looked like it was smothering it, but...I was feeling NO pain! That image still makes me a little tentative, not sure what to make of it, or what to do about it. The dr. didn't tell me any specific exercises or people to see, just "continue the course"...what course? An interesting thing he told me is that the body can "eat away" the herniation, essentially self performing a surgery on it. I did some reading/research and it seems like oxygen somehow helps to feed the mechanism to do this (on spine-health.com site) And so, now what? well, since I can walk again with no pain! I've been walking an hour a day since the mri (tues, wed) and plan to keep this up. I want to build to running. In fact during the walks, I sometimes run for small distances, 30 - 100 yards, nothing far, but just to get the memory back. I stop because of fear, but not pain. I don't want to push to pain. This completely bewildering, I don't know what to make of it, all I know is I feel so much better. I don't understand how quickly it turned around. At meg's party, during the afternoon, it started up after sitting on the grass, that morning and the evening before, standing on one leg, beginning the day completely sucked. Now, 2 days later, after the dr.'s visit, I'm "normal"? I don't understand it, but I'll take it! I've now taken it upon myself to read up more on herniated discs. Interesting thing 1. They can heal themselves in 2 years. Typically surgery is last resort, only 1 in 10 qualify. The other treatments (pt, etc.) are to give the back more time to heal. Intersting thing 2. There are some physiotherapists who claim you can use movement to fix the herniated disc. This is a theme i'm becoming more and more interested in, movement as prescription.

and then here's the MRI from Oct 13, 2015: